Relationship Counseling - Counseling in Sacramento - Nancy Ryan, MA, LMFT
- Do you want help for your relationship but don’t think your partner will come?
- Have you gotten to a stage in your life where you think, “Is this it?” “who am I really?” and may feel disconnected from yourself?
- Are you single and trying to date, but feel anxious and unsure of how to meet the right person?
- Do you feel like you attract the wrong people, partners that you have to “rescue” or “have potential” if only you were able to help?
- Have you gone through a divorce and need to recover before you date again?
- Do you experience social anxiety and find it easier to isolate than try to connect even if you are lonely?
- Do you wish you could communicate effectively and establish meaningful connections with your friends, family members, coworkers, and loved ones?
Connect with yourself and others in a deep way.
Call us at 916-426-2757
Building and Maintaining Relationships Can Be Tough
Think of all the many relationships people have in their lives, from romantic partners and family to coworkers, teammates, and friends. Although it can sometimes seem like everyone else has it all figured out, many people struggle with some of their relationships. The professional woman might feel confident at work but can’t be herself on dates. The happily married man might feel as though he’s a little kid in front of his parents and can’t assert himself. Or, the outgoing woman at parties might struggle to communicate her needs to her spouse, her boss, and her children. If you are struggling to feel connected to the people in your life, you are not alone.
If you are part of a couple and don’t think your partner is willing to get help, you can make huge shifts in your relationship by working on yourself. By creating habits of healthy relationships- setting boundaries, expressing your needs and wants in a respectful way, building your own life as separate from the relationship – can all make a difference in the quality of your partnership. I use the researched based Gottman Method Couples Counseling which will provide you with a thorough assessment, skills to build friendship, passion and romance, and learn skills how to resolve conflicts and build your best relationship.
Often, people struggle to understand their deeply held needs and communicate them effectively. You might try to express yourself and feel frustrated when those around you don’t understand you or react with anger or derision. Perspectives can greatly influence our connections. In these situations, it’s common to adopt the painful belief that you don’t matter, don’t fit in or aren’t important. However, with relationship counseling, you can investigate damaging beliefs and develop a clearer view of your world and the people in it.
The most significant relationship in your life is the one you have with yourself, including an awareness of your needs and your emotions. The relationship you have with yourself is the foundation from which all other relationships develop, and it needs to be solid in order to nurture friendships, romances, or successful collaborations. With the help of a qualified therapist, you can develop the self-love, self-confidence, and emotional communication skills that can help you make or strengthen connections with those around you.
With Relationship Counseling, You Can Learn to Communicate Effectively
I understand the difficulties and pain of relationship struggles. No one wants to feel isolated or unloved. With help you can uncover and eliminate the blocks that are preventing connection.
In sessions, I will help you explore your personality, your temperament, your values, your emotions and needs, and your common relationship themes. You may uncover a learned habit, misguided belief, or harmful pattern that negatively affects your current or potential relationships. Then, I can empower you to replace those habits and beliefs with positive ones. You can begin to notice what triggers fear, irritation, or anger in an interaction and learn to navigate emotional reactions. Develop emotional intelligence and be able to handle difficult feelings. You can’t change the people around you, but you can make healthy changes in yourself that can reduce conflict and increase connection. You will be able to change the things that you can and stop focusing on others and what they should do.
Relationship counseling can also help you better understand your attachment styles and your ability to set healthy boundaries with your family, friends, coworkers, and partner. Some people feel very safe in some situations and very threatened in others Sometimes it is particular people that cause us to feel unsafe. When you feel threatened or insecure, it can be difficult to put yourself out there and say what you need to say. But, you can develop skills that can help boost your sense of security and self-confidence, as well as your ability to adapt your methods of communication to different situations.
Everyone struggles with relationship issues at one time or another. No one communicates perfectly all the time, but relationship counseling can help you develop ways to actively listen to others and express your needs so that they are heard and understood. With self-acceptance and compassion, you can begin to deepen the relationships that are important for you to.
You may feel that relationship counseling can help you strengthen connections, but still have some questions or concerns…
Can Relationship Counseling really help?
Many people wonder if therapy can really make a difference in their relationships. It absolutely can! The human desire for connection is one of our most basic and primal needs, which makes it essential for mental, physical, and emotional well-being. All the research for healthy living credits positive connections as one of the key markers to a healthy life. We can be hurt in relationships, but we don’t heal in isolation. We heal in safe, loving relationships that model something different. When you feel like you are being heard, valued, and understood, you can feel better in other parts of your life.
I’m not the problem, they need the counseling
Sometimes it can feel like you are doing all you can to make a connection, but your coworkers, family members, partner, friends, or date simply won’t put in the effort. However, you can’t change other people. You only have control over yourself. Relationship counseling can help you identify ways to change how you interact with other people so that it’s more likely that your needs will be heard and met. Even if you come to therapy by yourself, you can make positive changes that can alter the dynamic of a dysfunctional relationship. You can also make decisions about whether the relationships that you have still serve you in a positive way and learn to set boundaries to limit the negative effect.
How can just talking about what’s wrong help me?
Therapy is not about blaming other people or making it other people’s fault. By sharing the things that are not working, we can see patterns that develop and then explore other ways of meeting needs in relationships. I will help you look at your relationships in a balanced way. With therapy we focus on strengths and effective ways to build them. We’ll also look at things that aren’t working for you and identify strategies to grow.
In sessions, you will have the opportunity to honestly work through the issues that are troubling you. Therapy can also provide you with an important sense of validation, which can provide immediate relief.