Couples and Relationship Counseling Sacramento area. Relationship counseling for individuals when your spouse won’t come.
Divorce and Co-Parenting
- Are you currently contemplating divorce or have you just gone through a divorce?
- Do you have children involved and you worry about how they will be affected?
- Are you concerned how you and your ex are going to co-parent when you couldn't be married?
- Do you wonder how you are going to heal from this and date again?
Recover from divorce and help your children learn to cope.
Call us at 916-426-2757
Divorcing and Co-Parenting Can Be Tough
The goal of co-parenting is to get you as parents on the same page. We need to remember that the children did not ask for this divorce and they need to be able to love both parents. When you can work on your differences - in parenting and conflict resolution - you will learn to put your child's needs first. This isn't about picking sides or working out your agenda, but working through your differences so that it feels as much like a win/win as it can. Although tensions can be high while the divorce is being worked out, your children need to feel like they are being heard, that they can grieve the loss of the family unit while you as the parent might not have the emotional resources or the capacity to do that.
Think about all that needs to be resolved. There are likely different rules and different expectations at each house and the back and forth with having two homes can be challenging for children. They can get through it, and even intact families have differences in parenting. Going through a divorce just makes that harder to negotiate with one another. How are you supposed to do this without damage? Many children, especially teens feel so conflicted about their loyalties and many hear too much adult information along the way. Some parents begin to confide in their children, make them their best friend and even alienate them from the other parent. Wouldn't it be great if there was some common ground on what is acceptable and not acceptable behavior? If you could communicate in a calm and respectful manner? If you both know the right way to go through this for your children? You can with the help of a therapist, a co-parenting plan, and possibly counseling for the children as well.
Divorce Recovery Takes Time Done Right
We understand the pain of divorce and how even if you are the one who chooses to leave, the grief process that you go through. With help you can learn how not to repeat some of the patterns that lead to the dissolution of this marriage. Or if you are the betrayed one, how to heal from that damage.
In sessions, we will help you explore your personality, your temperament, your values, your emotions and needs, and your common relationship themes. You may uncover a learned habit, misguided belief, or harmful pattern that negatively affects your current or potential relationships. Then, we can empower you to replace those habits and beliefs with positive ones. You can begin to notice what triggers fear, irritation, or anger in an interaction and learn to navigate emotional reactions. Develop emotional intelligence and be able to handle difficult feelings. You can’t change the people around you, but you can make healthy changes in yourself that can reduce conflict and increase connection. You will be able to change the things that you can and stop focusing on others and what they should do.
You may feel that relationship counseling can help you strengthen connections, but still have some questions or concerns…
Can Divorce Counseling really help?
Many people wonder if therapy can really make a difference in their relationships. It absolutely can! The human desire for connection is one of our most basic and primal needs, which makes it essential for mental, physical, and emotional well-being. All the research for healthy living credits positive connections as one of the key markers to a healthy life. We can be hurt in relationships, but we don’t heal in isolation. We heal in safe, loving relationships that model something different. When you feel like you are being heard, valued, and understood, you can feel better in other parts of your life.
I’m not the problem, they need the counseling
Sometimes it can feel like you are doing all you can to make a connection, but your coworkers, family members, partner, friends, or date simply won’t put in the effort. However, you can’t change other people. You only have control over yourself. Relationship counseling can help you identify ways to change how you interact with other people so that it’s more likely that your needs will be heard and met. Even if you come to therapy by yourself, you can make positive changes that can alter the dynamic of a dysfunctional relationship. You can also make decisions about whether the relationships that you have still serve you in a positive way and learn to set boundaries to limit the negative effect.
How can just talking about what’s wrong help me?
Therapy is not about blaming other people or making it other people’s fault. By sharing the things that are not working, we can see patterns that develop and then explore other ways of meeting needs in relationships. I will help you look at your relationships in a balanced way. With therapy we focus on strengths and effective ways to build them. We’ll also look at things that aren’t working for you and identify strategies to grow.
In sessions, you will have the opportunity to honestly work through the issues that are troubling you. Therapy can also provide you with an important sense of validation, which can provide immediate relief.